The Beginning. A Grandparent's Journey with our Grandson Using a Montessori Approach

It was the month of February and my husband had just taken retirement from his very busy job. We were excited because the decision to spend time with our children, who had a one-and-a-half-year-old son, had been taken and the tickets booked!

I had done a Montessori course just when my two boys had become teenagers. I couldn’t wait to verify with my grandson all the learnings (and experiments!) I had not been able to try with them!

Doctor Maria Montessori’s philosophy of ‘following the child’ is timeless. Though my husband and I had been able to help our sons to help themselves, to actually have the freedom to be in a ‘Montessori at home’ environment and not under the watchful eyes of an all-knowing ‘head teacher’ (that’s how I thought of her) were beguiling perks of being a brand new grandmother!

I couldn’t wait to be the 'naturally-knowing' caregiver to those I loved and my husband was suitably excited too, seeing the twinkle in my eye, as I ran my ideas of transferring grains into bowls, squeezing water from the sponge, putting a tray beneath it all and ‘never forgetting the little towels to wipe the bowls and hands’! I was pleasantly surprised that I remembered the little tips and nuggets from my course done seventeen years back. I allowed myself to be elated even as I put my head on the pillow and words like hand-eye coordination, the ‘pincer’ and ‘prehensile’ grip, and ‘cognition’ ran through my head.

Let’s call him R (my husband), packed all the bowls, mats etc that I was keen on taking, without a complaint. He too was looking forward to being the loving grand-father with all the time to dedicate, a rare luxury that he had not had with his children when they were toddlers! Warm as fresh casseroles we arrived to a stupendous welcome all set for the heartening six months that were to follow.

To our delight the little one took to us immediately, and we set about working towards a routine so all of us were comfortable and doing what we had to. The challenge was to keep our young one busy and engaged in a two-room apartment where the children were also working from home. This was Lombard Street, San Francisco.

The first day, I decided to give my husband an activity to do with our grandson, hoping that it would give me time to quickly rustle up a nourishing meal for the afternoon! So, I began with giving them a watermelon to wash with a sponge and a wiping towel. Grandson and grandfather did well so we followed it up with a washing of potatoes which had to be put into a different bowl when done. What followed was a sea of learning for me as the carpet was moisturized and my husband, quite undistracted by the mess, didn’t seem to mind that the potatoes went rolling in all directions. The little one, meanwhile, didn’t see any purpose and lost interest after the initial rhapsody. I realized that however simple an activity might seem, if I had something in mind, then I had to make the time and concentrate on giving our grandson a beautiful demonstration of what he actually needed to accomplish with the material provided to him. A ‘presentation’ was key. R looked sheepish and guilty-happy, never mind the cleaning up after!

So, the next day, corrective steps were taken and plans made for how our daily routine would pan out and then we could review it as we went along. The water activities were relegated to the little balcony with a table and chair (a request for a step stool was made immediately). Also, we decided that it was a good idea for the three of us to leave home consistently at ten in the morning once breakfast was eaten and the lunch prep was done. We were in for, what remains to date, the most loving six months of our recent lives.

All of us would get dressed, arrange a snack for him - maybe a laddoo that his great-grandmother had made, a spinach and kiwi smoothie, some things for us, even the laddoos when we thought we were deserving of them, all in one little bag that went into his smartrike. This little trike/pram hybrid doubled up as a cycle and could be pushed easily, in case our young man was tired. Every day seemed like a picnic in the beautiful city of San Francisco. This was a place we had previously only seen in films or read about in books!

R was very good with finding his way around the city and the little one surprised us by refusing to sit in the pram and deciding to walk. He surprised us by being willing to walk long distances, even up to two miles on days, as we went looking for parks further away. Here, he came in touch with other children, some of whom came with their nannies and some, in the evenings, with a parent in his work-suit.

The first time that we got him to a baby slide he just sat there and watched and made way, very gently, for others who came behind him. I was a little big for the slide but decided to have a go at it with him. We did it again and soon he was happy to do it all on his own. He was shy when other children came but their easy ‘I am enjoying myself’ attitude quickly helped him to adapt. Most of the play area equipment helped in stretching, bending, climbing and balancing, apart from the swings, which are always favorite sitting places even if the sun is smiling down in all its glory.

In the park, the children's’ happy and animated conversations were so interesting to all three of us, especially when they were of different nationalities. Also, if they were siblings, the bonhomie and competition did wonders as they cut to the chase! It was heartening to see a couple of fathers do the role play of a lion running behind a scared deer and the children just loved being in that situation, hiding, running, jumping off and hopping over each other so they didn’t fall prey to their fathers. There were no inhibitions and it was pure pleasure to see the adult’s ability to be childlike! R and I couldn’t help our gaze which followed them in awe and the memory stuck.

Days passed and spring was in the air. Our grandson was negotiating quite a bit on his own and learning about his body and all that it could do. We marveled at his growing dexterity and his ability to rest when he was tired, accept food when he was hungry, and push himself to do more until he could no more. Then, he would come and stand in front of me, even as we were walking and ask to be carried. It was his time to take a nap once we reached home. All in a day well spent.

We had never been grandparents before so it was a novelty for us to see how much our children, who had also never been parents before, already knew about the developing child and his brain.

As his mumma put it, parenting was all about ‘learning to live and let live’.